Starr Fuentes:
Walk Your Talk

Deep within each of us exists the longing for the self to be whole and completely connected to Source. Through the layers of our self unfolding we experience moments that are deeply disconnected from Source. The moments can seem to be painful, lonely, or crazy. As we experience these parts of ourselves that are disconnected from Source, we push them away. In turn this creates a greater gap inside our self which may be filled with frustration that is expressed by constant vocalization of what we are, will do, and are doing.

The total connectiveness of Source and self is a state of being that supersedes any conversation by the vibratory rate of self. In other words, "Talk is a cheap way to fill the gap." The gap is only a side of the shadow parts of our self that we choose to put to one side thinking that we are rid of them. Instead they create this polarity, while the self always pulls toward togetherness and we would rather not experience the disconnected parts of our self. The two sides emerge. Being spiritual is a way of life, it is a way of examining any and every part of our being that creates friction with life. It is self, "infolding" to Self and unfolding to relate with outside selves. "Doing" spiritual is the necessity to think before the exchange of energy occurs. "Talking" spiritual is the need to convince ourselves by spewing airy-fairy and concrete realities into the belief systems of others with no invitation by them.

To discover the way to walk your talk is to examine in the CLEAREST POSSIBLE LIGHT THE DEEPEST OF YOUR SHADOWS. For all of us rally to claim the light and the bright of our selves and to whither away from the dark and the dim inside of self. Through the examination of the shadow, light is shed onto the shadow. The ego feels threatened and in pain to learn that the dark side of self is to be exposed after all the energy that ego has invested in separating itself from shadow. Walking your talk is not about becoming who you say you are. Walking your talk is being who you are and having your words be congruent with your state of energy.

All of us carry burdens that make walking our talk difficult. There are three types of burdens that we carry. The first burden is old self. The next type of burden is hopeful self and the third burden is illusory self. These burdens continually poke their head into our conversations. They are fed and programmed through our thinking. Most importantly they are kept alive by our old patterns and fears.

Old Self

The old self exists in all of us. The strength that the old self holds is directly proportional to our resistance to change, and resentment we hold on to and the amount that we talk about the past in any terms. The old self has three strong components.

The first strong component of the old self is genetic/hereditary self. These are the limits that our soul has chosen for us by using the parameters of the physical body we are in. These limits include strength, intelligence, body type, race, religion, social, and environmental factors. The old self is bonded and chained with the talk and tapes of the parents and peers. In other words the old self has not filtered through the information for itself. It mimics and follows the beliefs, action, and patterns of parents, peers and society.

Until the self starts to examine the information on their own energy and in their own reality they will not be walking their talk. Few of the choices are theirs. They are choices made in different times, by different people with different energies, needs, and wants. These beliefs are "sold" to the next generation as truths because that was the truth of that generation. Sometimes almost all of the next generation "buys" the beliefs of the preceding generation. At times almost none of the next generation "buys" the energy of the preceding generation as in the 20's and in the 60's.

In the genes are patterns that have been there for generations. The patterns of addiction, disease, and behavior are chosen by the soul knowing that the particular body will contain them. These lessons are contained within the genes and are of great importance to the spiritual growth of the soul. As the soul develops, it may choose to overcome and surpass the lessons that the body has within it. The way to know that the healing has occurred is that the body has stopped talking bout the alcoholic parent or the sexual abuse. It has stopped talking about being Italian, Catholic, poor, or sickly. The old self has become verbally quiet.

*At times even when the old self has not been talking it can be anchored in the thinking process. The thinking process varies from the talking process by being judgmental. "He's Jewish." The old self talks about us and thinks about them.

The old self needs a pigeon hole and a label to feel like it has a place in life. The old self looks outward for definition of self. The old self was formed when the body was under ten years old. It behaves like a ten year old. It is boisterous and loud. It can demand the center of attention or hide shyly in the corner. It feels like a super hero one minute and a baby the next.

To heal the old self we must explore the structure of the inner self identifying with who we are now and leaving who we were in its proper place. The person of the past will become a history, not an image brought to life with today's energy.

Since the old self was formed at a time when we knew and sensed that we did not have enough information to know what we wanted, we took what was given to us by the adults that we admired. We can replace these same beliefs with a process from our own adult sharing with our old self that these beliefs were based on old information.

OLD SELF WORKSHEET

I am/have the same ____________________ as my parents.

Like my parents I believe...

When I meet someone of the same religion, I feel...

When I meet someone from a foreign country I feel...

When I meet someone with more/less money that me I feel...

Like my neighbors I believe that...

Some of the things that have never changed are...

The things that I have chosen in my life are...

Illusory Self

Part of the illusory self is the act that you put on in the past for your parents and your peers. It was the attempt of your ego to cover the parts of self that were believed not to be acceptable as they were. The act can be "nice girl" or "shy boy" or many others. The act could have been started at such an early age that all we remember is the "act" and not the true self. Some people become their act.

Another aspect of the illusory self is the masks that we put on to cover our acts and deeds. Masks are a way of being that lasts for a few minutes or several days. The act we keep up for longer periods of time. The masks are created for the different people in our life. Each person wants us to act and be someone a little bit different that the next person. The ego learns that if we appear to be as that person wants us to be then there are more rewards for us. So we learn a mask to please the big people in our life. This behavior may continue as we grow older.

If we choose to still use a mask, then we are continually reacting toward the energies rather than coming from a place of acting on the energies. The outside energies help us create a mask that works for the outside energies. As you walk your talk, the energies work with each other and co-create an energy that supports the highest good of all concerned.

As we start to make choices and decisions in our youth, we soon learn that certain types of actions and/or emotions bring with them a negative response from the energies outside of our selves. We began creating agreements with our sub-conscious and unconscious mind to suppress and repress these energies because we do not like the response the outside has to them. "Don't let this ever happen to me again." "I never want to feel this way." So the anger and sadness occur and the agreement with the sub-conscious mind kicks in and they get suppressed and repressed.

Sometimes we have unspoken agreements that go like this: "Don't call me on my stuff and I won't call you on yours. I will support your failures if you support mine."

The agreements that have the most power over us are the agreements that we have with ourselves. These are the agreements that when broken, cause the self-esteem to plummet. These agreements seem insignificant yet they chip away at the trust that we have with our inner self. The breaking of these agreements on a consistent basis gives the illusion that the inner self is not to be trusted.

The illusory self always likes to point the finger outward and blame the parents, spouses, environment and anything else for the reality that is occurring. It makes you believe that you are the victim of circumstance and that if they get their act together then your life will be just fine. People who are victims are living in their illusion that there is nothing that they can do to change their life.

An illusion that you cannot live or exist without another person causes co-dependency. The illusory self can so mask your strengths and powers that you believe that you are helpless. If the pattern is strong, then your partner will nurture this energy and the illusion will appear more and more real as time goes by. A facet of the illusory self is to spend time in fantasy. People who waste hours of their life day-dreaming about strokes of luck and improbably events become addicted to this way of spending time and become paralyzed. The more they fanaticize, the less and less necessary things become accomplished in their daily life.

One of the ways the illusory self creates a place for itself in the relationships with others is to support the constant meaningless verbalization of things that may happen in the future. "I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that." The self becomes grandiose and things do not get accomplished and we verbalize even more. The conversations give the illusion that we are doing more than we really are.

Lies happened as we began to believe that the truth will hurt someone and that it is "nicer" to avoid the truth. We sometimes lie to support the truth that we are stronger, happier, smarter or richer than we really are. The lies need more lies to support and cover the gaps that they create. So the illusionary self gives birth to more illusions.

When an addiction exists in a person, the longer the addiction is with the person the greater the illusion becomes. The addiction gives the person the message that they can only be strong with the addiction.  

The amount of energy the illusory self can consume can be as high as 95%. When illusion eats up more than 33% of a person's energy, things become hard to accomplish. As the percentage goes above 50%, moving forward in life is difficult. The illusion will demand that they be kept alive before energy goes into accomplishing goals and personal growth. People become "stuck" in the same groove because the illusion is using the energy that they need to make the shift. As long as you keep the illusory self alive, it is highly improbably that you will walk your talk. One of the things that feeds the illusory self is the secrets from our past that we do not reveal after we have become friends with others. These secretes do not have to be big. They can be as small as being unable to stand a sibling, or how the death of an animal or pet affected you. Or they can be as big as sexual abuse or ex-lovers from our past.

Secrets are missing pieces in our path of growth that we are choosing not to reveal for fear of being judged or labeled. These pieces may be the keys that are needed for another to understand how you can be reached.

Certain ways that we perceive our reality and the role that we play in reality adds strength to the illusory self. If we see our self as grandiose or minimal in our creation of our reality, we add illusion to our reality.

Visit Starr at: www.starrfuentes.com, and www.gatherinsight.com.

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