Ja-lene Clark:
Mother Mary's Teaching on Motherhood

Next month Gather Insight will publish a new book on the rosary as a collaborative project with Kimberly Marooney and the Angel Ministers. This has been a precious project to be involved with because it has transported me back into my studies as a child in the Catholic Church. Throughout my life I have struggled with my religious beliefs and where or if I should attend much less belong to a church; however, my connection to Mother Mary has always remained steadfast.  For me working on the rosary project with Kimberly reminded me again of my roots and connection with Mary and what she has taught me. 

About a year ago, my own son (now 27) was facing a brutal personal challenge and I didn’t know what to do.  The options for ways I could assist him were swirling in my mind, but honestly, I didn’t know what the “right” thing to do was.

So I went into contemplation to ask for guidance and Mother Mary came in. I clearly heard the most profound thing:

“If I can witness my son bear his cross, so can you.”

Wow! Now that was quite a thought!  And as I considered the idea of witnessing the cross more deeply, it became clearer to me. I looked back at the story of Jesus. I didn’t see much about Mary there. I had images from Hollywood movies, and that really wasn’t it…

As I imagined Mary and what she was teaching through her example about being a mother, it became significant for me.

I considered Mary's examples:

She was there.
She stood by.
She didn’t pick up the cross and carry it for her son. That was for Jesus to do and she respected this.
She didn’t intervene — there is no written record of Mary going to Pontius Pilate and asking him to reconsider his verdict or sentence.
Mary didn’t mettle.
She did not rescue.
She was simply there, present, loving, standing by.

This contemplation of Mary gave me such enormous comfort that day. It was huge especially once I understood that that mess was my own son's cross. I felt at peace and was able to be present with my son throughout his challenge. Only when asked did I offer advice. I did not scold. I listened. I was present. And he took care of the clean-up on his own.

Just last week I heard of man who came upon a butterfly struggling to emerge from her cocoon. With earnest intentions this man cut the cocoon open to free the butterfly…so it would have an easier time emerging. Inevitably though, the butterfly died. Why...it was too soon to fly and the butterfly needed the struggle to strengthen her wings. She needed to find her way out of the cocoon in her own time and make the metamorphosis complete when she was ready. That is how it works for us too; when we struggle we get stronger. That is part of the plan. Struggles are simply crosses that offer us ways to learn, experience, get stronger and grow. Everyone has his or her very own cross in life.

Once I worked on a book about dogs and why we love them so much. One of the reasons is because when we are hurting, they know. They don’t bark solutions. Dogs sit with us and love us and comfort us. We cry and they don’t complain, tell us what to do or tell us to shush. That is precisely what it is like to use Mary’s example and sit with someone while witnessing them with their own “cross.”

Contemplate the examples here from Mary, butterflies and our beloved canines...each are an excellent model for our relationships. I will continue to explore Mary's teachings on motherhood... Be present. Stand by. Comfort. Offer Love. Be Compassionate. I hope you'll join me.

Revisit this Beatles classic song for a little extra inspiration from Mary.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
There will be no sorrow, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be no sorrow, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

P.S. Watch Gather Insight for the launch next month of the Bring the People Back to My Love Rosary from Kimberly and the Angel Ministers. This rosary is a powerful and elegant reminder of our eternal bond with God.

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